I’ve been re-learning and going into more depth about using ‘Show and Tell’ in my writing. One of my activities was to turn this “tell” sentence into a “show” sentence.
The canteen was in chaos!
The trick was, I wasn’t allowed to use the word ‘chaos’ but to show that the canteen was in chaos by using description.
As always though, mine went from a sentence to a short story…I also re-used my ‘Lacrimation’ idea – you can read the original idea here.
I pushed open the door to the canteen and immediately froze in my steps, I was too late. The windows were all broken. Dozens of rose bushes had burst through leaving the windows a shattered mess of glass shards all over the floor. They writhed and curled in daunting spirals of thorns. The roses were in full bloom, bright red petals flared in a dangerous warning. The smell was toxic, filling the whole room with a thick rosy perfume. Tears came to my eyes. Then it hit me. I wiped my tear with my finger and looked at it, it glowed ever so slightly in the daylit canteen.
My vision began to go hazy and I could feel the tears filling up my eyes. But what I noticed now were all the people in the canteen. People were cowering over in sobs, luminescent tears streaming everywhere. The room was full of lacrimation but no one was here to capture it. No one to catch all the tears…
And I felt myself taken over by the rosy gas, and the world slipped away along with the precious illuminated tears.
~ The World is Quiet Here ~